I’ve been home exactly a month now. Along with the joyous reunions come the far from joyous realities. I’ve spent as much time correcting my fellow Cameroonians misconceptions of life abroad as I have spent correcting my own expectations of home. Between the time I prepared to come home and my arrival I received three requests for me to buy IPhones, four requests for me to buy human hair and countless requests for particular designers shoes and clothes. Le impossible n’est pas Camerounaise. That statement is the only justification I can find for why people would think as a student on scholarship I could afford to buy any of those things as gifts. Now that I’m back home however I realize how easy it is for Cameroonians to feel like those things are casual easily gotten commodities in the west. Despite our country’s HIPC status the growing middle-class population increasingly sport smart phones, rock imported everything- from clothes to hair. All these bought either second hand in the many “container shops” or brand new but definitely not at the same price and VAT presented to those in more developed countries. So I find myself addressing misconceptions, attempting to make those with lofty expectation understand that the struggle is real everywhere. “Yes iPhones are popular but you just don’t enter a shop and buy one. Most people take contracts to pay for their phones monthly.” “Human hair? I would need to buy at least three packets for you to be able to actually do your hair. If I had that money to give you, why wouldn’t I just help pay your fees? Or rents for three months?” And finally “Honestly, if I gave you 50.000frs today and showed you the dress you asked for, would you buy it for that amount? Why then would you believe I would buy for you what you wouldn’t buy for yourself?” Another misconception that has to be corrected given the idea that the grass is always greener in the West and that one “returns only to visit”. For every new reunion I go through the same process. Acquaintance: How long are you here for? Me: I’ve returned home Acquaintance: Yes but when are you going back? Me: I’m not going “back”, not unless I have a conference or something. I’ve returned home for good. Acquaintance: Why? You get work? (Pidgin English for ‘Do you have a job?’) Me: (Completely ignoring the why) Nope. Not yet. Still looking for work Acquaintance: Hmm you should go back ooh. E dey like sey you like suffa (Loosely translated: You seem to have a penchant for pain) Me: Well I prefer to suffer here than there, suffa dey all side ya (Loosely translated: There’s suffering everywhere) At this point whoever I am talking with either laughs in my face or shakes their head in pity. Correcting the misconception that there is literally no suffering in the West is much more difficult than correcting misconceptions of the returnee being able to afford three rounds of drinks at every reunion.Yet the misconception needs to be corrected and the truth needs to be told; the struggle is real everywhere. You just have to choose what struggles you can cope with. Some people will happily take up the apathy of a foreign land. To them that is preferable to the corruption of Cameroonian police and other government officials, the unemployment or underemployment depending on who you know rather than what you know, the bad roads and careless drives that make up the transport system, the society that while allowing you to be free, never allows you to be all you can be. Others would prefer the feeling of belonging, the possibility (no matter how slim) of achieving certain career aspirations which are only possible in your home country, the Communalism evident with monthly ‘njangi’ meetings, the sure knowledge that no matter what you will never lack a place to sleep or food to eat… They choose this over better health care, more reliable institutions, more accountable and transparent systems. They choose home no matter if home is a thatched roof and elsewhere has marble tiles. We may trade one for the other, but we struggle no matter where we are. I guess the difference is some of us prefer to struggle in the bosom of Family and friends who we can always count on and of course, to struggle for the country that is actually ours. No matter what we choose, C’est la vie.
How not to be the Dreadful Bushfaller/Returnee
Given the comment someone inboxed me I may have written too much on bushfallers already. Bear with me. These are my musings and for the moment at least I’m around that group a lot. Don’t worry I’ll be home soon J That said, though I had already put up the blog post for this month, my recent engagements have left me musing on those who return home after “falling bush”. We tend to love our bushfallers, they send us Moneygram and Western Union numbers, and they come home with boxes of shoes and clothes for Christmas. Some of them actually call and keep updated with our lives. Yep, this nation’s bushfallers do more than the government does. But a lot of times, when they come home we do not like our bushfallers (yes, you can love someone and not like them/their presence at the same time). You see when they return home our Bushfallers are often very different, they have changed. Some change is good; the ideas they have for development, the zeal they have for making money (Oye Capitalism!), their dismantling of oppressive cultures and stereotypes, their open-mindedness and more tolerant personalities… there’s a lot of good change. But several bad changes as well. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek list of the do’s and don’ts to avoid being the THAT dreadful returnee/bushfaller we all know and would prefer to love from a distance. 1. Do not stay out of the country so long you forget what it feels like to carry water for long distances. Do not forget the normality of it nor the pride in it. Of course its pipe borne but the fact that the pipe doesn’t meet you in the comfort of your room should be okay. 2. On the same note. Do not forget the regularity of power outage. You should expect it. Don’t get me wrong, we need not accept it, we can grumble, advocate for better (strike at our own risk), petition the companies responsible. We need not accept it but it shouldn’t surprise us, because we should know in many parts of our own country some communities do not have electric lines at all. They don’t know what “lights off” is. 3. Do not stay out so long you forget the basic etiquette. The greeting your elders, the wishing of “good morning” even if the day is looking far from good… and of course the things not to ask your mother: 4. Do not remember that you drank the water in this country a year before. You did not die then, you will not die now. Considering that the water is pipe borne and you are fortunate enough that your family home has a filter, do not insist on “bottled water”. All our water is bottled by the way, we recycle like that. 5. Do remember what you used to do when you did not have an iPad, iPod, laptop or internet. Please do that when you go to the village or when the power cuts. Of course this does not apply to bushfallers alone. We could all do with that lesson. 6. Please remember when introducing yourself to give both your names. Do not get some innocent child in trouble because you gave them only your first name to call you by. You know their mama will slap their mother for calling “a whole bushfaller like you just John” 7. If you feel the need to use any profanities? Kindly use the ones your dialect offers. Somehow it is better to be cursed in your language than the “whitemans”. Besides a “Nyamfuka” said in an appropriately derogatory tone is just as effective as a “fuck you”. 8. Do not stay out so long that you begin to believe and repeat the western media lies and misrepresentation of your own people. Remember that you have been going to Alhadji’s house every “Fete de Ramadan” stop looking at his first son like pinup boy for terrorist daily. Also remember that you came from that country if it was disease ridden, insect infested, beggarly etc you would be too 9. Please endeavor to refrain from constant grumbling about “What is wrong with this country” and keep the “this is why I can’t live in Cameroon” to the bare minimum. Unless you are contributing in some way to changing things, your grumblings is a scratching sound messing up the music playing. Besides, we all know the real reason you can’t live in Cameroon… 10. If you forget all else, do not forget this: Do not forget why you left the country. Do not get so caught up in the rat race that you forget the dreams you had that could not be fulfilled at that time in your country, the desire for those dreams that made you leave in the first place. Keep checking, maybe those dreams are realizable back home now. But if you aren’t living those dreams in whatever country you ended up in, do not forget the way you felt so strongly about those dreams you gave up all you had for the chance to go get what you needed to fulfill them. If you have gotten what you needed, then come home. Do not forget where home is and why.
Self-Trafficking, Modern Slavery or the Wrong sort of Bushfalling
Two years ago around this same month, I had a conversation with a friend. We had only recently met. She had just returned to Cameroon after having been on a cultural exchange program coordinated by the US Embassy in Cameroon. Of six Cameroonians sent to the USA on that exchange program, my friend was the only one to return. Her family and friends in the US could not believe she was returning home. They told her she was being foolish. They, even those living in the US illegally asked her “what are you returning to do?” Others said “I hope you don’t think we’ll continue helping you as you go back again…” They spoke as though it was they who had paid her way rather than this fellowship she applied for and won. Nonetheless she returned home. Two years later she has quit the job she’d had upon arrival. Her knowledge threatened her male counterparts and given the industry she was in, she was the lone woman. She in turn felt threatened. Leaving that job was hard, but she felt she had to do it and was skilled enough to take the risk. She has been job hunting for a while now and wherever she goes to and shows her certificates from here and the training she received from the USA, she gets the question “Why did you come back? You should have stayed na?” My friend’s case is not unique. Even I, on a scholarship that has a pre-requisite clause boldly stating that you MUST return to you home country gets asked “Why you no wan stay for dey?” It is a fact, Bushfalling is the Cameroonian dream just as having capitalism work for you is the American dream. Do we need proof? Here’s some examples: You hear your friend is getting married and ask about her intended who is he, what does he do? The answer you get: He’s a Bushfaller. That is all. He is a Bushfaller. That title is an occupation, like Pastor’s wife or 1st Lady. It comes with prestige and dignity without one ever knowing what exactly the person with that title does. More proof? Well you just need to go see the long lines at Surete Nationale in Yaounde for people making passports, at embassies, and in front of cybercafes when it’s time to play the DV Lottery all in hopes of leaving the country. You can look at the long waiting list for foreign exams like TOEFL or IELTS. But most of all, the most obvious proof of our desperate Bushfalling Cameroonian dream? The fact that in metropoles like Douala, Yaounde, Buea and Bamenda town have “agencies” ever increasing (almost equal in number with bars) offering to sending you “abroad” to countries like Chile, the Philippines, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Hungary, Vietnam, Thailand, Kuwait and Lebanon. You see our people have gotten tired of going to the American, British and Canadian embassies and losing money in form of visa fees and bank statements to prove they will go and study, not work blab la bla. Our brothers and sisters now want reassurance that they will actually get that visa board that flight and begin working immediately to come home in December as a Bushfaller and show that “God has blessed them” and “they too have arrived”. Some may say I sound a little high handed writing about this because I’m in the UK on a scholarship or had the benefit of traveling before even that. They would be wrong. I have been one of the people who wanted ot leave the country at all costs. I have been rejected for a visa, twice. But I like to think I realized my country wasn’t the worst and learned to take an honest look and appreciate it, thinking how I can fix it rather than run away from it. Again this might not be an option to someone who is desperate because they have dependents. But here’s the thing, is it that they have no options, or is it that they do not like the options they were given? I am writing about this after reading the news/ testimonies of girls enslaved in Kuwait and Lebanon. As I write to you have two friends in Lebanon in similar circumstances. I cannot tell you for sure if they are treated as poorly at the girls who testified are. But I can tell you for sure that they went to that country with their eyes wide open. They had options here, but preferred to “fall bush” because a foreign currency is always higher than ours even in a country that should be constantly in a state of emergency. Today as I read about the women I thought of the countless adverts these agencies put up in school zones right in the midst of the young and impressionable. I admire the agencies though, they aren’t evil. They tell you directly that you are going to be given service jobs. You are going to be a house-help in Saudi Arabia. They tell you they will take your passport upon arrival and you will work and repay the cost of the flight and visa before going on with your life there. You are told bluntly. Heck, it’s even advertised on the national television station- CRTV. But still people go because to them; anywhere is better than Cameroon, they need to go “try” their luck, it can’t be so bad, and finally because even though they know they don’t reason enough o put the knowledge to use. You see someone who puts knowledge to use would ask the agents in these agencies “If bush fine so wetin you di do for here?” Someone who reasons would put two and two together; if women in Saudi Arabia aren’t allowed to drive bared arms etc. how much more oppressed would an imported house-help be? A smart young person would think critically, if house-helps in Cameroon are maltreated regularly in this relatively
Our Identity and Our shame
The Transracial Trend… Please have a look at my picture in the about section of this page. Have a good look, read the bio. Imagine this: I have been reading about Jewish culture, taken a liken to it, truly appreciate the suffering they had to face during the Holocaust, then I decided I feel more Jewish than Cameroonian. So I take up the hairstyle and dressing of Jews. I buy a wig or scarfs for my head. I lie about my background and receive a scholarship from a historically Jewish University to study Jewish History. I graduate and become a spokesperson for the Jewish community. Imagine all this happening, then when caught I feel I did nothing wrong. I “identify as Jewish”. Sounds crazy right? Well, as some writers would be quick to tell you, reality is crazier than fiction. Everything I just described happened except it what an American Caucasian who decided to “identify” as a black American. Lie about her race to the point of having someone claim to be her father. She has received scholarship from a university that was created to give black Americans opportunity in a system that was never created for them. She did all this and when the public went for her, some people abused the term transracial to defend her actions. Transracial is a valid term used to define the unique perspectives of someone who is adopted by a family of a different race, however defenders of Rachel Dolezal now use it to refer to the decision to “identify” as a different race and dress up impersonating people of that race. However this post isn’t so much about Rachel Dolezal and being transracial such as it is about “identifying” as black and what is has meant for me. You see, Dolezal made me wonder about lot of things. For one she made me wonder if she’s crazy. It has been fairly proven that being black in America is not a smooth experience so why did this woman want to switch race so badly? I’m suspicious. We have reasons for everything we do. Stupid reason maybe, but still reasons. Secondly and most pertinent to this post, Dolezal made me wonder what she perceives black to be. You see I’m truly curious about this because I have not always been “black”. Yes, really! On Being black… So, I have not always been black. I have been African, Cameroonian, Bami-Anglo, but not black. Where I come from there are no race arguments because we’re all one color though of various shades. We have better things to classify ourselves by; social class, region of origin, tribe, language group, religion. But my blackness starts and ends when I board a flight and cross the equator. That’s one thing Rachel Dolezal and I have in common; we have not always been black. Given this mutual experience of on and off blackness I wonder when Rachel Dolezal began feeling black. What made her black? Was it watching enough episodes of Moesha and Fresh Prince of Bel Air? Was it the study of black history and being able to narrate/discuss black literature? Was it the moment she fell in love with box braids or the affection she developed for caramelized skin? From Rachel’s appearance and her impersonation, I cannot find more “experience of blackness” from her. And this irks me particularly when I recount the episodes that made me “feel black”. I felt black when a Caucasian lady seated next to me on a flight asked for another seat and was given. She stated her discomfort and asked that she be position elsewhere. The Kenyan seated to my right shook his head as her request was granted. I simply made a black power fist in the air then returned to my novel. I have changed hairstyles from permed hair to dreadlocks all the while in Cameroon. It never made me feel as black as I did when I was stopped in transit my passport and documents checked for over thirty minutes answering questions on where I was going and where I was from because my documents didn’t serve enough as proof. If you don’t get the drift, I have felt black mostly in circumstances of social classification while away from home. In my experience being black IS a social construct as Dolezal and her supporters insist. What I am wondering is when she has ever been boxed into that construct. This seem highly improbable when Ms Dolezal identified as white when police stopped her for a speeding ticket, when she herself identified as white when suing a historically black college. Her identity is her choice I agree. But with certain identities come stereotypes and bias and oppression and shaming. I would like Ms. Dolezal to tell me when she has felt that which is so much a part of the black identity. Has she ever felt jittery when entering a shop, like the security guard was looking particularly at her? Can she relate, truly relate to the #MikeBrowns #TrayvonMartins and that little girl at the McKinney pool party? Where does her blackness stop and where does it start? And the need for shame… As I ponder on this I realize all the times I felt black, I felt immigrant too. Welcome but not quite. And all these times I have felt the shame of being “guilty until proven innocent” and being someone who needed to be helped. Now some god soul might say here “you should not feel ashamed of who you are”. That good soul will be wrong. I do not feel ashamed of who I am, I feel ashamed of who I am perceived to be because I have not done more, my leaders have not done more. Shaming is itself a large part of African and black culture. I clearly remember
A Recap: Camer Bloggers Hangout
So my last blog post was on the laudable strides into blogging by Cameroonians. However while a lot of Cameroonian bloggers are coming up, few have reach that hallowed level of making a profit off their blogs. A dynamic woman and PR-extraordinaire Adeline Sede Kamga are bent on changing that. To start, she rallied Camer bloggers in the country for a bloggers hangout on the 14th of June 2014. The event sponsored by one of her clients Ethiopian Airlines with a free wine tasting by another of her clients Duvas Wines held at White House Bonapriso, Douala and was in one word: Fabulous! Adeline, who is also the founder and CEO of FabAfriq Magazine a beautiful publication battling the negative portrayal of our continent on a regular basis, says she wants to start a revolution leading to bloggers and their blogs being seen as equal options for advertising. In Cameroon, companies limit themselves to billboards, newspaper layouts and TV ads. Those who don’t have enough to spend on those three means are left out. However with the popularity of social media and the rise in blogging amongst Cameroonians blogs are as good a place as any to advertize and Adeline is leading her clients along to this new plane of advertising. The first client to “bite the bait” is Ethiopian Airlines. They fully sponsored the get together where bloggers came together to learn from each other on everything from the best blog engines to the types of blogs to advice on consistency, increasing followers and marketing. After talks and group discussions we were then made known of the amazing deals Ethiopian Airlines offers. As Africa’s leading (the largest and fastest growing) aviation company they cover everything. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING! There’s a medical package for those traveling with patients (at a 20% discount) which would make most health insurance deals look like a fraud, they handle the obtaining of visas for students who wish to study in certain Asian countries and for those who wish to travel to Ethiopia for any reasons. The airline recently launched a campaign called “ETHIOPIAN HOLIDAYS” and the services they offer make travel agents and tourist agencies seem null! To say I was impressed is euphemism. Did you know Ethiopia has the lowest visa cost internationally? While a visa to another African country is usually 50USD (and much higher for visa’s to non African countries), the visa fee for Ethiopia is just 25USD! Well let me tell you, the event got me thinking when most Africans decide to vacation, they think of traveling abroad (as far away as possible), belittling our own continent and the exotic, exciting sites it offer. Africa has a lot of amazing places to visit but unfortunately, we in our globalization warped perception overlook them. But the multiple awards winning Ethiopian Airlines has partnered with some hotels, resorts and touristic sites in Ethiopia to offer amazing holiday’s discounts to attract tourists from around the world and Africa in particular to Ethiopia (Other airlines and countries can take notes THIS is how one does tourism!). One of such partners is the Kuriftu resort and spa, which in the last few years has been a destination of choice for many travel lovers. Find out more about Kuriftu Spa and resort here (www.kurifturesortspa.com/). To find out more (or schedule that trip to Kuriftu when you see what it has to offer), here are some direct contacts to Ethiopian Airline staff (DesireeN@ethiopianairlines.com or Tel: + 237 73350059 Jorgod@ethiopianairlines.com or Tel: +237 77937929) As if all that information, networking and the AWESOME 3-course dinner at White House wasn’t more than enough, we bloggers literally entered a raffle draw by attending the hang-out. Ethiopian Airlines offers one lucky attendee a Fan Trip to Singapore to be validated by June 29th!!!! Now if you’re a blogger reading this I know you’re jealous but don’t hate me (Because, hey, I could be the lucky one!). Future hangouts are being planned as you read! Yep, Ms. Kamga is on the roll and she won’t gather no moss as she promised in a recent article with Tip Top Stars she and her team will be evaluating active blogs and looking at how they can help them cover some basic costs through placing advertising features and content as well as encourage other companies to advertise using blogs. I for one can’t praise this enough. Imagine the number of creative yet unemployed youth in our country who could earn something by using their personal blogs to advertise? This is innovation lets embrace it. Lest I forget I had the good fortune to meet the lovely ladies and gents behind blogs and websites I had only formerly followed from afar… Elodie behind LesmarchesdeElodie.blogspot.com Tiptop Stars (http://www.tiptopstars.com) Clifford Ako of Wasamundi (http://www.wasamundi.com/) Hughes Kamga of (http://huguesleandre.wordpress.com/) Nkiacha Atemnkeng of Writerphilic (nkiachaatemnkeng.blogspot.com/) And of course, moi of Musings… Yes I met myself (and fell in love with myself) all over again… Till next time folks; Keep Calm, bloggers progressing here….
The Laudable Series Pt. 1: Bloggers
When it comes to our own; our country, bodies, opportunities we often dwell on the negatives more than the positive but it is a known fact that when we dwell on the good we feel a whole lot better. So I’m going to give out doses of “feel good” with this new series I came up with. The Laudables. Each part of this series will acknowledge a laudable group of people of this-day Cameroon, interview them and give them what limelight Musings has to offer. For this month we shall applaud the Bloggers. Blogging by my definition is the easier, informal self-publishing of articles, videos, comics etc using a blog. And what is a blog? The term blogis short for web log, a “log” of diary-like entries published on a web site. This is how it started, people publishing their daily thoughts for all to read on their website. The modern blog evolved from the online diary, where people would keep a running account of their personal lives and opinions and are generally recognized as bloggers. The timeline of blogging starts in the late 1990’s and in the West of course, but almost two decades later there is no doubt a “blog boom” going on in Africa and Cameroon (for once) is not missing out! Why is it so important you may ask? Why is it worth mentioning even? Let me explain: We grumble and complain about the bias portrayal of Africa on mainstream media. During the last presidential elections in 2011 no single major broadcasting station mentioned what should have been a decisive moment in our history…well I guess they already knew no decision worth noting was going to be made. The individual has a voice and the media due to those who sponsor it can’t always tune their voice in. Be it on fashion, or some remarkable event, a home hero/heroine, a new song, your opinion on religion or your personal politics, blogging helps you make your voice heard on whatever topic you wish to talk about. The increase of blogs run by Africans is making it easier for non-Africans to know that Africa is NOT a country; bloggers disseminate information differently and have brought their country and the ways of their people to the limelight. I’m proud to say I’m one of many bloggers in Cameroon. When I started blogging (seriously) I was shocked to note just how many we were! Shocked because for a country who only just recently enforced computer science as a subject in schools and where the internet connection is generally poor at best (and that is putting it mildly) it shows great effort to have so many bloggers all voicing their own side of the story. In no particular order and inclusive of both French and English blogs, here are some examples: Ø I Rep Camer http://irepcamer.blogspot.com Ø Scribbles from the Den http://www.dibussi.com Ø Art Becomes You http://artbecomesyou.com Ø Amanjodzeka http://amanjodzeka.wordpress.com Ø Addicted to Etsy http://www.addicted2etsy.com/ Ø Can Never Be A Skinny Bish http://canneverbeaskinnybish.com/ Ø De Braun Hill http://braunhillblogs.wordpress.com Ø Kamer Kongossa http://kongossa.mondoblog.org Ø PolicyStan http://policystan.blogspot.com Ø Dulce Camer http://dulcecamer.blogspot.com Ø Find Palaver Woman http://findpalaverwoman.blogspot.com Ø Africally Speaking http://www.africallyspeaking.com Ø Bayangi Girl http://banyangigirl.blogspot.com Ø Frisha Gold https://frishagold.wordpress.com Ø No Mami Pikin Left behind http://nomamipikinleftbehind.blogspot.com Ø Letters To Cameroon http://letterstocameroon.wordpress.com Etc…… With all these blogs named you may get the idea that blogging has become cheap. You would be wrong. Blogging requires self-perception, authoritativeness, originality discipline and dedication, attributes which pretty much disqualify most people. Oh, they will try, set up a blog and share something for a few weeks even a few months then something else distracts them. Or there are those (ehem, like me, ehem) who are slow bloggers. In other words do not mark your ovulation cycle by us. You just might have a heart attack. Well, to get down to the point, in this web 2.0 age of blogging there are Cameroonians in the mix laudably, YAY! And more, there are also a few good, serious minded, consistent ones too, another YAY!! I shall without further ado throw the spotlight on some of that select laudable few… the crème de la crème of the Camer blogosphere: I Rep Camer Yes she does! “She” is Yefon Mainsah, a 34 year old Engineer, the lady behind I Rep Camer who is into everything and then some! She is currently based in Houston, Texas where she blogs from and impresses us with how much she knows on what is going on with Cameroonians all over the globe. And I mean ALL OVER. I call Yefon the Queen of Camer Bloggers because she knows them all, and connects them to one another. Following I Rep Camer will keep you up to date on what’s happening with up and coming entrepreneurs, artists, and anyone worth noting in Camer social life. With I Rep Camer Yefon uplifts Cameroonians doing what others say cannot be done. And did I say she does this consistently? Since she began blogging in April 2009, she updates her blog at least once a week and has 54 steady followers for the blog and over 800 on the blogs Facebook page. Like I said, she’s QUEEN ergo a Pro at this. Musings got her to answer some questions for us and here are her responses to the following questions: 1. What was the idea behind the naming of your blog? The name is self explanatory. I Rep Camer! To represent Cameroon and showcase who and what we are to the world. 2. What is blogging to you, and what is the basic content of your blog? Blogging started as an out and escape from a stressful job but now I blog to promote, engage, exchange, share and to have a voice. In essence my blog is your stop for all things Cameroon and Africa plus the random thoughts and musings of an All in One Engineer, Movie/Music & Accessories junkie. With multi-focus on Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Fashion,
An Open Letter to Cameroonians…
Dear fellow Cameroonian, How are you? I hope fine, though I doubt it. I doubt it because I hear you grumbling all the time. One of my earliest memories is of family gathered at an Aunts house at Ecole de Poste, Yaoundé. It was a small two bedroom apartment with cold walls and a musty smell as a result of being built on the marshes. As we children sat on the grey concrete floors poorly covered with a tattered plastic carpet we listened to the adults grumbling about the president and the ruling party, CPDM, as the members marched in a parade televised. As groups marched with their right hand over their hearts and their left hands raised adoringly towards the president in salute, we heard the grownups speculate and mumble about how millions were being mismanaged; how this person or that was being bribed or bribing; how SDF should have won the ’92 elections; etc. That memory has re-occurred in different houses with different Cameroonian relatives and why not, in different countries at different times of my life. The grumbling is always there; in a taxi or bus as we dodge crater-like pot-holes or stop to give some uniform-wearer (I don’t want to spoil the term title: police officer) a thousand francs note. It is there when salaries are delayed because of some technicality that has to be corrected only in some illusive office in Yaounde (and correction is not for free o!).There is grumbling when the latest shake down reveals that 20 billion had been embezzled (the money you shall never see), there is grumbling when’ concours’ are written registering 20.000 candidates for just 20 spots to be filled, there is grumbling when election time comes around and we see no change, there is grumbling in the church, there is grumbling at schools when teachers see their salaries and the size of their classes, when students are about to graduate and join the sea of unemployed, there is grumbling in the hair dressing salons and poisonneries (cold stores) when lights go off for days and there is no one to hold accountable. No one to query for the days of business services and goods lost. There is grumbling in the bars, almost always in the bars, over bottles of Guinness and 33 Export no matter the price per bottle…. Till I came to the conclusion recently that my dear beloved Cameroonians, we have what one would call a “form of discontent”. We give the impression of displeasure but it is all a charade. A very inbred charade. For our actions show that we are content just the way we are. Now dear brother don’t get upset because the truth hurts. Let me prove my point eh? Let me show you how I know you are content, let me show you why… I know you are content because you talk much but do nothing. And even when you do, it is not to solve/address the problem but to eat your own share of the national cake. Case in point; those who have set up one of the over 200 political parties in the opposition, who we hear nothing about till election year when they vie for “campaign allowances” never to be heard from again. I know you are content because you do not show up for elections, saying “after all what will change?” Well, nothing will if you don’t do something. I know you are content because you invest ten times the energy you would need to address your situation in Cameroon into the glorious pursuit for a foreign visa or blue passport… I know you are content because you are ever ready and willing to bribe your way through the ‘concours’, the red tape in offices, the not having all car documents etc. and of course you expect a little “motivation” when it is your turn too. I know you are content because you ignore your history and as a result repeat it. I know you are content because rather than fighting for your own language not to be considered “les patois la” you learned to speak theirs… I know you are content because you, yes you my neighbor who had grumbled about how “this man needs to step down” “this man is spending our money in France” “This man is a shame of a leader” after all that grumbling, I saw you run to the road when you heard his car was coming up from Mutengene. I watched you and many others who had grumbled and insulted that “shameful leader” I saw you people jump up and down in ecstasy waving your hands in the air and smiling. And not a hint of grumbling could be evidenced. It was as if you were not all the same grumblers, like you had forgotten or forgiven that which had disgruntled you, including the gendarme standing before us with tear gas and other weapons in his hands and belts ever ready to attack should we attempt to go too close. I know you are content because for over 30 years the same person has ruled you and you have done nothing but talk behind his back then fawn over him with wishes of “many more years” and motions of support when put on the podium (Ah ah! You could at least say “no comment” than to do that about turn na). I know we are content because we don’t yearn for change as much as we yearn for a chance to be posted or given some title or the other which would grant us our own share of the national cake…then we do all the things we have formerly complained about. I know you are content because you left from Tombel, Bafut palaces, Jakiri, Akwaya and Bakassi (even Bakassi oh!) to march past in parade before a man you had grumbled and complained about. You are definitely content because you even brought him gifts. Chiefs and Fons bowed low