Hello, I’m Monique and today, 11th October 2018, makes me twenty-nine years old. I added an About My Faith page to this blog at the start of this year as I felt I could do more to share my faith. Recently, after being touched by the testimonies of undergrads shared at the church I’m presently attending and I decided to make an attempt at sharing my salvation story via video. I soon concluded that writing would enable me to be more concise. So with this piece, I share how it all began, or a testimony of how I came to commit to the Christian Journey. I hope my experience with God’s love inspires you on your journey and relationship with God too. *** To begin, I must acknowledge that by some measures, or common (mis)conceptions of what being a Christian is in our society- speaking from a Cameroonian perspective here- one could claim I have always been a Christian. Being born into a family which identifies as Christian, being baptized before I could talk, and being confirmed/taking my first communion by the age of 15 even though I can’t say what that really meant despite the required doctrinal lessons. In fact, I clearly recall that I begged to have my confirmation in school so I could belong, could join the line for communion when others went up and could have my ‘first communion party’ in school which would be a sort of visiting Sunday – cherished by boarding students. So, by the average demographic measure, I was a Christian from age 2, and a fully practicing one by age 15 with my baptismal and communion cards to prove it. Of course, the average view is often wrong. My not being a Christian was obvious in the fact that going to church was an event, not an act of worship nor fellowship. It was something to dress up for once a week. Morning devotions were routines, the songs were the only entertainment we young people were permitted to dance to and the prayers before meals were customary. Something done mindlessly, or out of fear of food-poisoning as seen on Nollywood films. Knowing this, I can say my Christian journey actually began in April of 2007. With neither, a baptism nor a ‘confirmation’. Rather, like most things in Christianity, it began with my pain and death, or my attempted death. *** At the time, I was 17 years old and alone in my cousin’s apartment in Yaoundé after dropping out of school. I had been effectively disowned by most of the family because I decided leave boarding school and was ready to return to the US where my mom and brother were, my cousin who had the apartment likewise left me without a word when he had an opportunity to leave the country. There’s a lot of background to this, but suffice it to say, you should picture a 17-year-old with loads of anger, self-esteem, and belonging issues. One who can’t quite put a finger on the intensity of the emotional pains she feels, knows little about the world, less about her family and no French at all but is now stranded in a francophone city. I was literally at my end. With no adult supervision, after I found out through a friend of my cousins that he had left the country, I began selling stuff to passersby outside the apartment so I could buy food to eat. I did that with some success considering my horrible French LOL! I soon got tired though, soon got fed up and the vacuum I had always filled with food just kept growing. So when I came across a bottle of Advil with expired Ibuprofen tablets already molding to dust form, I thought I’d found the perfect escape route. I was obviously unwanted, unloved and not understood- even by myself. I couldn’t see any reason to keep going, it all seemed like vanity. Wake, eat, perhaps study to impress some people you don’t even like, sleep and repeat. That was life as I knew it. I took a handful of those pills, dressed up and climbed into bed fully intending to die like ‘sleeping beauty’ I still had my vanity. And I recall thinking as I fell asleep crying in bed that I was going to have some very harsh words for God when I met him upon death. But I didn’t die. I slept deep, perhaps from the pills, perhaps from the tears. But I know it was longer than usual for me. Still, I woke up, by myself, feeling nauseous and running to the bathroom to throw up. I spewed out everything I’d consumed and could taste the bitter ibuprofen in my bile. As I was washing up and struggling to get my mouth to taste normal again, I thought of how unfair it was that I couldn’t even die in peace. I was interrupted by a knock on the door and when I went to answer it, the young girl who served my Anglophone neighbors as a house-help was there. She seemed a bit shy but had worked up the courage to come to ask me to teach her how to make pancakes. I had given her some pancakes before, out of guilt. She often cleaned my end of the corridor when she did her chores so I gave her pancakes once as compensation. This girl, who was at least 13 and at most 15 in age had never had that simple pleasure before and had seemingly waited till her bosses had left so she could ask me for how to do it. It was the small thing really but after feeling so useless that you would try to take your own life, being asked to teach someone how to make pancakes has some significance. As I taught her that day, I learned more about her. How she could only complete Primary school in the village and then her mother asked that she follow
April 2018’s Missing Post I: Christian Journey Supplements
When I think of April, I think of World Book and Copyright Day on the 23rd… and birthdays of a few unforgettable friends. Both of these aspects of April; the international day commemorating one of my favorite resources- books- and the support offered by the friends which render them unforgettable inspired the blog for this month. I decided to make a list of top five resources- aside from the Bible, of course, lol- which have contributed to my growth as a Christian. Consider this a list of my most used Christian Journey Supplements. I hope someone gains something from my list, and I look forward to reading what additional material my readers use in the comment section! Here we go: #5- My Phone Apps! Okay, let’s get the most used resources out of the way first eh? Anyone who knows me personally knows my phone is rarely far from my reach. But while I can agree to be a bit addicted (yes, I said just a bit), I can’t completely curse this problem because my phone has apps which help as much as they distract. The first Christian app I download with any new device is the Bible App- Youversion which goes beyond being a bible because it offers a vast variety of rich devotionals. I particularly love how they literally award you with badges and ‘points’ for how regularly you check in and how often you complete a reading plan/devotional. Also a big plus, being able to share with friends and go through a bible study/meditation with a loved one far away. My phone app list equally includes well-known devotional apps like the Our Daily Bread, Daily Hope and so on. Recently, I discovered yet another gem of an app, the Prayer App, which helps one list down all the things and people for which they want to pray for. Not only does this app assist in guiding your prayers and ensuring you don’t forget something you planned to meditate on, but you can also set reminders and have an alarm notify you of your quiet time. You may think “I don’t need an app to remind me to pray” and you’re right, you likely don’t. But how often do you pledge to pray for something/someone and forget because it doesn’t concern you directly, or how often do you tell someone “I’ll help you pray” and then their problem slips from your mind because well, you were just “being nice”? Well, this app is there to remind you, help you keep those pledges and ensure your prayers are intentional and well directed. You conveniently classify your prayer topics- Family members, friends, Personal flaws and issues you need to work on, your country, etc. I can honestly say this app has helped me keep the commission to pray for others more faithfully. And ooh! When a prayer is answered, you get to archive and see how far you’ve come in your archives! Finally, Pinterest may not be considered a Christian App, but since an older friend of mine dragged me down that rabbit hole, I’ve found loads of inspirational messages and prayer memes to pin and encourage me on down days. Just create a board and try not to get addicted LOL! #4- Christian Blogs and Study Bible Aids Though I have only recently become acquainted with Christian blogs like Desiring God, I have, however, grown to appreciate a lot of their content. The friend who introduced me to this blog likewise listed online study bible aids as a supplement for her journey and I must agree! These days we can never be too safe with cross-checking the interpretations of the gospel we are being given. Check out a top list of Bible study software here. #3 Gratitude Journal I started keeping a gratitude journal after a severe bout of depression in 2013. As a supplement to Christian practice, journaling, in general, is very encouraged. Be it journaling your experiences and lessons learned in a diary or keeping a prayer book, or as in my case- a gratitude journal. Either way, keeping track of what there is to be grateful has helped me keep some reason on the worst of days and helped grow faith as it provides evidence of things already done when it feels like I’m asking for the impossible with my prayers. #2 Youtube Sermons The year I traveled out of the country for my master’s studies marked the first time in my adult Christian journey that I would be away from home and away from the church family I belong(ed) to. After visiting two churches I did vibe with I decided to find an alternative. Coincidentally a friend of mine shared THIS sermon by Priscilla Shirer with me on Facebook and I loved it. Thus began my using YouTube as a church supplement. I literally planned my “church service” and invited friends who were in other countries to stream with me so we would watch and discuss the sermon together. We had praise break too 🙂 A gospel playlist of our favorite gospel songs open in another tab. While being away from home may have begun this practice, it has stayed with me. When for some reason I have to miss church, I assuage my guilt with organizing my own online service. Truth is, given my hearing impairment I, unfortunately, find myself in church most Sundays for simply the fellowship as I don’t always hear the word, so Youtube sermons have become a staple, especially when you find the right channel, the right preacher that really challenges you to study the word. Personally, my go-to sermons are those by Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church and Priscilla Shirer. Friends of mine have enjoyed sermons by Tony Evans (Priscilla Shirer’s father), Tim Keller, and John Piper who’s the brain behind Desiring God. However aside from just sermons, some channels on Youtube offer shows with like The Conversation or Christian spoken word poetry in general on P4CM which both entertains and inspires