I know what it means sister, Know what it means to seek hope like children seek fireflies on too-warm evenings I know what it means sister, Know what it means when you finally catch one… and the light flickers. Off I know what it means sister, Know what it means to question and scold yourself for ingratitude For surely you must be ungrateful. Surely you haven’t appreciated enough if you feel this way I know what it means sister, Know what it means to be told to pray the darkness away. Know that on some days it works, and others it doesn’t I know. I know what most don’t That praying over it means thinking about it And thinking leads to overthinking. Overfeeling And possibly drowning in what you’d rather escape. I know how hard it is to tell, sister How hard it is to explain what you, yourself, can barely understand. How to describe the feeling you fight when some days it’s easy to beat… And at other times it needs weeks… I know sister, I know So don’t feel you’re not holy enough, Never feel you’re not faith-full enough “Enough” faith is for the martyrs… but we’re all just learners here Be consoled in that someone knows sister That someone understands you setting up a vision board with reasons to live That someone understands that even the scripture, that double-edged sword. Finds it hard to cut through the cloak that is depression. Seek all the help you can, sister. And if you need me, I’m here. I do not know it all, But this much I do.
April 2018’s Missing Post I: Christian Journey Supplements
When I think of April, I think of World Book and Copyright Day on the 23rd… and birthdays of a few unforgettable friends. Both of these aspects of April; the international day commemorating one of my favorite resources- books- and the support offered by the friends which render them unforgettable inspired the blog for this month. I decided to make a list of top five resources- aside from the Bible, of course, lol- which have contributed to my growth as a Christian. Consider this a list of my most used Christian Journey Supplements. I hope someone gains something from my list, and I look forward to reading what additional material my readers use in the comment section! Here we go: #5- My Phone Apps! Okay, let’s get the most used resources out of the way first eh? Anyone who knows me personally knows my phone is rarely far from my reach. But while I can agree to be a bit addicted (yes, I said just a bit), I can’t completely curse this problem because my phone has apps which help as much as they distract. The first Christian app I download with any new device is the Bible App- Youversion which goes beyond being a bible because it offers a vast variety of rich devotionals. I particularly love how they literally award you with badges and ‘points’ for how regularly you check in and how often you complete a reading plan/devotional. Also a big plus, being able to share with friends and go through a bible study/meditation with a loved one far away. My phone app list equally includes well-known devotional apps like the Our Daily Bread, Daily Hope and so on. Recently, I discovered yet another gem of an app, the Prayer App, which helps one list down all the things and people for which they want to pray for. Not only does this app assist in guiding your prayers and ensuring you don’t forget something you planned to meditate on, but you can also set reminders and have an alarm notify you of your quiet time. You may think “I don’t need an app to remind me to pray” and you’re right, you likely don’t. But how often do you pledge to pray for something/someone and forget because it doesn’t concern you directly, or how often do you tell someone “I’ll help you pray” and then their problem slips from your mind because well, you were just “being nice”? Well, this app is there to remind you, help you keep those pledges and ensure your prayers are intentional and well directed. You conveniently classify your prayer topics- Family members, friends, Personal flaws and issues you need to work on, your country, etc. I can honestly say this app has helped me keep the commission to pray for others more faithfully. And ooh! When a prayer is answered, you get to archive and see how far you’ve come in your archives! Finally, Pinterest may not be considered a Christian App, but since an older friend of mine dragged me down that rabbit hole, I’ve found loads of inspirational messages and prayer memes to pin and encourage me on down days. Just create a board and try not to get addicted LOL! #4- Christian Blogs and Study Bible Aids Though I have only recently become acquainted with Christian blogs like Desiring God, I have, however, grown to appreciate a lot of their content. The friend who introduced me to this blog likewise listed online study bible aids as a supplement for her journey and I must agree! These days we can never be too safe with cross-checking the interpretations of the gospel we are being given. Check out a top list of Bible study software here. #3 Gratitude Journal I started keeping a gratitude journal after a severe bout of depression in 2013. As a supplement to Christian practice, journaling, in general, is very encouraged. Be it journaling your experiences and lessons learned in a diary or keeping a prayer book, or as in my case- a gratitude journal. Either way, keeping track of what there is to be grateful has helped me keep some reason on the worst of days and helped grow faith as it provides evidence of things already done when it feels like I’m asking for the impossible with my prayers. #2 Youtube Sermons The year I traveled out of the country for my master’s studies marked the first time in my adult Christian journey that I would be away from home and away from the church family I belong(ed) to. After visiting two churches I did vibe with I decided to find an alternative. Coincidentally a friend of mine shared THIS sermon by Priscilla Shirer with me on Facebook and I loved it. Thus began my using YouTube as a church supplement. I literally planned my “church service” and invited friends who were in other countries to stream with me so we would watch and discuss the sermon together. We had praise break too 🙂 A gospel playlist of our favorite gospel songs open in another tab. While being away from home may have begun this practice, it has stayed with me. When for some reason I have to miss church, I assuage my guilt with organizing my own online service. Truth is, given my hearing impairment I, unfortunately, find myself in church most Sundays for simply the fellowship as I don’t always hear the word, so Youtube sermons have become a staple, especially when you find the right channel, the right preacher that really challenges you to study the word. Personally, my go-to sermons are those by Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church and Priscilla Shirer. Friends of mine have enjoyed sermons by Tony Evans (Priscilla Shirer’s father), Tim Keller, and John Piper who’s the brain behind Desiring God. However aside from just sermons, some channels on Youtube offer shows with like The Conversation or Christian spoken word poetry in general on P4CM which both entertains and inspires
On Finding A New Church
Hey there! Welcome back to my faith-journey tracking page. This month’s blog post was inspired by the recent self-evaluation I had as I sought a new church away from home. Recently, I moved to a new country for my studies and one of the first things I had to do was find out where I’d worship. As I considered one church versus the other, I found that this was a learning experience as to my needs as a Christian and my perceptions of what worship services should be for me. As I did an assessment of the options presented to me, I found that I looked for some four main features in a church. 1. I can’t even pretend and claim I went far and wide to look for the most “spiritual place”. I’m practical. So, of course, I first considered churches depending on who recommended it and how. Especially if it’s a church I’ve never heard of before. In that instance, the best advert a church can have is its members. Now I’m not saying you should judge the whole congregation by one or two members. But, it remains that when it comes to a church you know nothing about, what determines if you cross the threshold into that place of worship or not is the member who invites you and what impression they give you of their church. Once you get in you can make a decision for yourself, but you wouldn’t even enter without them doing something right. Even if that something is just piquing your curiosity. Other pragmatic factors include “how far is it?” Would I be able to attend regularly? How large? Will I get lost in the crowd or can I actually fellowship? How is the service program set up? Is it comprehensive for me? That is will the program have me feeling like we covered all bases in terms of fellowship or is the program sketchy, something I could have done at home on my own? 2- Next, I looked for if the Church had some guidelines, a charter, a welcome pack that explains to visitors how it was established? Who it is accountable to? On what foundations are the ministry is founded etc. If they don’t have this, I would research the establishment and pastor myself. Afterall, if you do background checks on someone babysitting your kid, why not research the person you are about to give yourself over to for spiritual guidance? 3- Perhaps most importantly, I looked at the messages the church chooses to focus on. If the sermons are usually inclined to the benefits fo belonging to God as opposed to the requirements of those who seek to be called his own and how we can grow more like his son then I become wary. I also look at how the message is passed? Do I learn new scripture, do I come away feeling like my knowledge of the Word grew? Or do you feel like I could have stayed at home and read a self-help book? 4- I likewise looked at how does the church is structured. You’d be surprised what the seating layout at a church would reveal. Look around and take note, do people from all walks of life mix? Aside from the possible areas reserved for the choir, are there seemingly no-go areas? Is there some sort of position of prestige for those supposed more spiritual, better off economically? Speaking of which, do you note where the children are? Are they given a chance to mix, a part of the service? How does the church share the word to the children? And if (like me) you’re in a society with some social divide; class, linguistic, racial etc. does the church address social justice issues? If the church doesn’t then that would be problematic for me. After all, we aren’t existing in a vacuum 5- Finally, as I assessed churches I forced myself to remember that the church is a hospital for the spiritually sick and I shouldn’t expect it to be perfect. No one here is perfect, and as an institution made up of flawed people, the establishment will have its flaws. It should matter more that these flaws are recognized and hopefully openly addressed to be worked on as one body in Christ. So what do you look for in a church? What attracts you to a new fellowship or turns you away? What are you deal breakers? (Consistent prosperity preaching and blatant sexism are my dealbreakers by the way) Drop a comment below and let me know what you think!
Loving your Non-Christian Friend
Capitalism has branded February the month of love, and for the past few years, I’ve played along with my musings being love-themed every February. This month, for example, I shared flash fiction I worked on for Brittle Papers’ Valentine’s Day anthology last year. Now that my Christian Musings page means blogging twice a month, I considered what love themed post to make from my Christian experience. There’s so much that faith helps us learn in love and love helps us become through faith. At its core, the gospel is essentially a dramatic love story… so it was hard picking just one thing to focus on. But I succeeded because one of the biggest lessons I feel needs to be learned by Christians is the lesson on loving your non-Christian friend. For a religion which was founded by a man known for breaking convention and loving heretics, rebels and the disliked… Christianity (or rather we Christians) fails woefully to meet that example. We seem to believe we must love those who think like us, look like us, believe as we do. And we often mistake love (philia which we are called to feel for every living thing) with like. As a result, most Christians dish out a fake kind of acceptance of those they deem not of the “yolk”. We often speak of religious tolerance, asking that people of one religion tolerate the other… as though the other person was a bad aftertaste to prescribed medication. You can love someone, as a creation of God you believe in without necessarily liking them. Love them- accepting and celebrating them for who they are, how God made them different from you. You need not be like them, nor agree with them, but you can always respect them. And that respect breeds love because it ascertains you’ll treat the other person with a due amount of consideration. And isn’t that all we need? Some consideration? I think it is. Empathy goes a long way and should be actively cultivated. My friend list spans a wide girth; atheist, agnostics, friends of different religions or different Christian denominations with contrasting doctrine etc. They are all my friends, they all have something about them I truly love and admire, they all better me in some way (even if that way is testing my patience LOL!). We are not “unequally yolked” so much as complementary. They don’t have to be equally yolked with me, they are not Christians, and I respect that. My job is to be the example of what a Christian is for them to see. And that’s it. So how do you love your Non-Christian friend? Love them by respecting them and their wishes, including the wish to not be preached to- there are other ways… Love them by listening to them, including listening to the issues they have with your faith. Believe it or not, addressing those issues will help you strengthen your own convictions. Answering hard questions always enables you to know better about yourself and what you believe. Love your non-christian friend enough to tell them if you feel they are doing what is wrong, but equally, love them as God did and let them have their free will. Love your non-christian friend enough to find out about why they believe what they do or do not believe at all. We are who we are because of our lived experiences. If you believe in a divine being you know we are not the authors and finishers of our lives, so why not find out the back story before you conclude their lack of faith is wrong. Above all, love your Non-Christian friend by being a true disciple of Christ. The one we have been called to emulate would have no problem loving anyone. Be like Jesus.
Where Are You In Your Faith Journey?
As I stated in my first official Christian blog post, with this page I’ll be sharing lessons learned along my faith journey, for the purpose of inspiring someone and spreading the joy that I FEEL compelled to as a result of my faith in Christ. But as I thought of what to blog about this month, what lesson to share from my journey at this point… It all seemed pretty hard-core for a first blog post of the year. So I thought about it some more, procrastinated, prayed for inspiration, and just as I finally decided I’ll write whatever I can, just at that moment, it occurred to me that I was planning to share lessons learned in along my faith journey, but I had yet to assess at what point I was in this journey? Am I a baby needing milk (1Cor 3:1-5), or a full-fledged Ephesians chapter 6 warrior? To be honest, I think I am somewhere in the middle. I made the personal decision to commit to Christ in 2007, so that makes me 11 years in the fold right? One would say, that’s a pretty long time, long enough for maturity in the word. Let me just say that one would be lying. It’s not the number of years so much as the levels of hell and heaven we pass through experience which grows us. Growth in faith is subtle really, it grows on you, you just realize certain attributes of yours have changed. In one of her sermons, Priscilla Shirer talks about discerning the word of God and the sanctification process done by the holy spirit. I love that part of the sermon because it makes it clear these changes are not from us directly or solely our responsibility and consequence of our action. Growth is through that sanctification process. It is through that subtle molding of our likes and dislikes, priorities and desires that growth occurs. Growth is when the sermon about claiming the blessings of Abraham is no longer enough and feels glossed over because a quiet voice says “Would you like to claim his trials and tribulations too? Would you like God to give you a calling as absurd as the one he had? Or a trial as unbelievable as that which he was tested with?” No? Then shush. Growth is when you actually listen and believe the word that says your salvation will not be earned through deeds, and finally stop judging other people based on your list of thou-shall-nots. Growth is when you go beyond praying for what you desire to get and start praying for who you desire to become in Him. Or better yet, when you move beyond praying for yourself and to praying for others, for Gods will, for more growth. I think I began to grow, actually grow in faith and seek more knowledge and guidance than prosperity after reading a Purpose Driven Life in 2009. If you’ve ever suffered from depression and questioned your self-worth, the value of your existence… well you’d know the potential impact of knowing you have a Purpose to fulfill, of being challenged and guided to find that you have unique skills, gifts, and talents. Writing the purpose statement for your life is one of the most “getting my shit together” acts EVER. That manifesto literally compels one to LIVE. Please, make no mistake, growing in Christ is hard, mostly because it means killing of our selfish nature. You are being “shaved off” until all that’s left is what resembles Christ. In a way, it’s not so much a growing as a reconfiguring. Perhaps that’s why our journey often seems like we are going around in circles, standing at the same spot. We may be learning the same lessons over an over again till we get it right. One of my all-time time favourite quotes by my role model, the late Maya Angelou is this: “I always find surprising when a young person walks up to me and says they’re a Christian. I feel the need to respond: already?” See, Mama Maya knew that this journey is looooooooooong! And few of us complete it by the time we pass away. So forgive some of us if we respond to the question of whether we are a Christian – read Disciple of Christ- with the answer “I am trying my best to be”. So there, before I start imparting lessons learned through experiences in my faith journey, consider this a disclaimer: I do not have it all together and I still have a long way to go. Where at you in your faith journey? Drop me a comment below, I’d love to know, I’m nosey like that ????????????
About My Faith… An Introduction
I found faith in 2007. Or rather God found me. It was during one of the worst times of my life (thus far). Suffice it to say drama levels were at an all time high, we’ll save that story for another day. Given the circumstances under which I found faith on my own, the healthy skepticism I came to find faith with, my liberal mindset coupled with regular conflicts/cognitive dissonance, I have never felt I was the right person to share the ‘good news’ with others. My motto was (and to a great extent still is) live a life that upholds the principles of your faith and you won’t need to quote so many scripture verses… This motto is reflected in the popular adage attributed to William J. Toms “live your life as though it may be the only bible some may ever read”. While there’s nothing wrong with this philosophy, it however doesn’t negate nor replace the great commission that we’ve been given- to share the gospel with all who we can as part of our faith. And this part, I have thus far shied away from. I had reasons for avoiding active evangelism, okay perhaps we’ll call them excuses rather than reasons, but I had them! For one, I didn’t like a lot of the examples of evangelists I knew of. Evangelists like the Jehovah Witnesses who would knock on our door to share the faith and some how felt they had the authority to declare that we were condemned to a fiery furnace unless we joined them; because to them our church wasn’t righteous enough. Or evangelist like the medical student cum University Hostel preacher who had left the Presbyterian church for a new-age Pentecostal church and begun asking those he thought were ‘good enough’ to join him in evangelizing to those he thought were immoral. He would later propose an affair saying ” we’ll use hotels out of town of course, where people who look up is can’t see us and be led astray”. There were several more evangelists who tarnished the image in my mind with their love for titles ‘(Brother Sam, Sister Julie, Apostle Leslie etc) and their penchant for legalism, readily alternating social norms and religious dictates to their convenience,. Suffice it to say, I never wanted to be mistaken for one and so I shied a way from sharing the word. Besides,with some of my own unanswered questions and heavy criticism of religion, considering my ready understanding of why some people would choose not believe and respect for their prerogative not to… who was I to preach to anyone? That was how I felt till this past year when I attempted to make a deal with God. I was literally like: Lord give me [insert heart’s desire here] and I’ll do this thing I’ve been shying away from. In retrospect, I was doing what most unbelievers criticize Christians for: acting as if God was a genie. For another thing, what I was offering as my ‘bargaining chip’ was something the faith demanded that I do anyway. So ugh, no deal. Some friends and a pastor I respect brought the stupidity to my attention and I came to my sense somewhat. Rather than attempting ‘trade by barter’ with God, I decided to finally take up the work I had ignored. Actively evangelizing. Still, I was reluctant. It mattered how I evangelized more than that I do it. And like I’ve expounded upon above, the examples aren’t pretty and I have my own hangups . So how do you share your faith, when you’re still growing in it yourself. When you don’t have it all together and when you’re skeptical of doctrine, critical of sexism and all the other isms our religion (not faith mind you) perpetuates. Well I dragged my feet for months, considered the best route and finally decided on starting with teaching Sunday school. I’ve taught two classes thus far and it is a great experience for me particularly because I enjoy teaching. However, given my mobility and the structure of our church [teaching can be agonizing when you’re not the one making the lesson plan and/or curriculum] I found it wasn’t something I could do regularly. it’s unfortunate that the way our Sunday school’s are set up we’ll end up with even more believers in future who either quit the faith or become reciters of dogma they barely understand. None-the-less the desire to keep the-vow-that-was-no-longer-a-trade had latched on and I recently decided that I would commence sharing my faith the way I share everything else… by writing. Which brings me to this:I write monthly on musings, expressing my opinions on everything and nothing, a rambling social commentary, which helps me share my views and opinions on my people, my society and add to the record of our living history.I equally track my career journey and lessons learned on LinkedIn, my attempt at taking inventory of professional growth, as well as a way of marketing myself and encouraging whoever might have similar ambitions… With this “About My Faith’ page on my blog I plan to likewise do regular updates on my Christian journey, recording growth in faith. Offering my opinions on issues that conflict and console. Sharing the joy of the gospel as well as creating a space to question it. I won’t be preaching- not really- just sharing. I think that’s the best I can do towards evangelism at this time. All the same I’m excited, because today I choose to share my faith, cautious of but not fearing the the traps I’ve seen others fall in. So, I hope you’ll join me. I hope you’ll read this page as you read the other. And I hope you feel free enough to question here, to dissent and partake in what I share. A happy new year to you and yours!I’d love to read your thoughts on this new addition to the blog- including topics you’d like me to consider as I muse on my Christian journey- so drop me a comment below. XoxoMo.
Why I am Not “Here” for TB Joshua’s Ministry
I was asked in a recent interview what I blog about. My response: Whatever is trending on my mind at the moment. In that respect, what has been trending on my mind and my Facebook newsfeed off and on for quite some time now is the ever-reawakening case of the Nigerian Prophet T.B Joshua. You cannot be Cameroonian and not know of Prophet T. B. Every time you enter a taxi his and outstretched palm is displayed on a sticker with the message “Let Love Lead”. A very nice message we would all agree. Most times you will enter a salon, restaurant, or even the self proclaimed Christian Clinics and see his channel Emmanuel TV on, or you may know any one of the many Cameroonians are traveling all the way to Lagos in a bid to see him As result of popularity this prophet is under a ton of scrutiny. And deservedly so considering the many who equate him with the Pope (or higher given the fact that the Pope is not known to cure Diabetes as of yet). They say he has powers, they say he is generous; they say he is a godsend…Now, I’m not here to say he isn’t any of these, I’ll leave it to you to you to decide what you would believe. But these are my musings and I’ll like to share here are 7 reasons I’m not “Here” for TB 1- I believe God has better things to prophesy about than football. Recently it has been going about that TB prophesied Cameroon would win the World Cup this here or rather “An African Country beginning with C and ending with N” This rumor is FALSE. I researched it and know the source. He said no such thing. Actually as of early 2013 the “prophet” publicly “resigned” from prophesying about football matches (http://www.nyasatimes.com/2013/02/18/tb-joshua-resigns-from-announcing-football-prophecies-i-have-been-getting-insults/). However I do not blame the person who began this rumor as a joke. When did God start sending game scores as a message to his people? I find it very VERY difficult to believe God had EVER lacked a message to send into the world that He would choose to send us predictions on a pop culture sport (http://thetbjoshuafanclub.wordpress.com/tag/football-prophecy/). I mean there must have been some child dying of Leukemia who need a prophecy of the right person to appeal to for a bone marrow transplant right? 2- Secondly I am a firm believer in the verse “what your right hand gives your left hand should not know about” (Mathew 6:1-3). Permit me break interpret this scriptural verse for TB? What you put in a sealed brown envelope should not be written out and announced to all and sundry. That to me is NOT generosity, at least not Christian generosity. It is rather similar to IMF aid :/ 3- I believe God gave us brains to use them. Let me expatiate: Believing in God and having faith does not cancel out use of reason. Yes I believe in miracles. Yes I believe God can use people to heal. I also believe those people could be doctors he called to service. I also believe when Ben Carson discovered a way to divide those Siamese Twins God used him to perform a miracle. The twins’ parents may have prayed, they may have gone to church and fellow-shipped yes, but I logically believe that God has given us instruments for healing a.k.a doctors, hospitals, modern medicine. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying another Christian cannot pray for you and you get healed. I’m just saying don’t skip out of the hospital with HIV results and go for healing in church when God has already provided healing in the form of ART in a clinic near you… 4- I believe there is more to salvation than a miracle market. If you have ever watched Emmanuel TV on a Sunday this does not need explaining. 5- I believe in humility, this does not involve naming yourself a prophet or “Man of God” in my book. It does not involve having an advert putting your framed photo at the end of a long line of framed pictures of apostles (yours being larger) thereby insinuating in advertising dialect that you are equal or greater than the apostles before you eh? Moreover while I agree people may regard you as a prophet I think you cheapen it by attaching it to your name like a credential e.g Evang. Mark Azinwi, Prophet of the Lord. 6- I believe in logic. That is; a. You do not teach people to be “Wise Men” or Prophets, so all those underlings are? In my rationality (which I acknowledge may be faulty) being a prophet is a calling, a gift, and not something to be learned. Just as I would criticize Pastor Chris for attempting to teach people how to speak in Tongues. I mean really?!!! Someone needs to re-read 1 Corinthians 12 b. In that line of logic, I reason that a “Man of God” owning the great expanse of property As TB does, and regularly dishing out hundreds of thousands of Naira should have a job eh? Else where’s the source of income. One school of thought says his church generates it, to that I reply: “I thought churches were meant to be the “original” not-for-profits?” And when another school of thought says it comes from donations of followers to which I reply: “So he isn’t really being generous then because it’s not his right, he’s just redistributing as he wills?” c. In the same line of logic I inquire on things which in my opinion (which again I acknowledge may be faulty) are meant to be private being publicized. Yes, I understand the goal of trying to get non-believers to see God’s power, but hmm even Jesus said “go and tell no one I healed you. What is it with the advertising of miracles as though it were a commercial product almost 24 hours of
Pssss….I hope you know I’m a Christian
I’ve been downcast since Sunday. What started as self-disappointment over my inability to capture what I need to say properly in writing has evolved into a wave of misery over things I have yet to achieve, yet to overcome, or may not even be able to change. These thoughts sent me to my vault of spoken word videos, where I go watch what really inspired people produce (and further my miserable mood -of course) as well as renew my faith in myself by listening to the gospel in my favorite form- poetry. I replayed some of my favorite spoken word performances: “Does anybody know you’re a Christian” by Karness and “Almost (Saved)” by Ezekiel Azonwu among others.As I envied their words, rhythm, and confidence in performing. I thought of my faith and how most times it’s all that keeps me going.Although I have a plethora of friends who do not share my faith (or any for that matter), who’s reasons and stance I can appreciate. I still can’t consider not believing. Not having this confidence that Someone greater than us all has this thing in the palm of their hands and knows what is meant to be… that’s just frightful. The idea that we’re all just existing is dystopian for me. It may seem naive, but it is the belief in a greater purpose, God- a merciful sacrificing everloving one- which makes this endless hustle that is the life worth it on most days. Still, I understand why a lot of people don’t believe. I particularly empathize with those who don’t believe in Christianity because they have experienced hypocrisy (among many other failings) in the church. Or because people have tried to shame/insult them into converting, or worse experiences… For a long time, I felt the best way to evangelize is to live a life true to the faith for others to see and choose if they would join you or not. This would mean people should recognize you as a Christian without you actually saying you are. ‘By your works, they should know you’ and all that It occurs to me that, I may just have been evading verbal evangelism. Evading it because those who talk about Christ are held to higher moral standards, because I’m still negotiating my faith and have a lot of questions and criticisms myself and above all, because I have seen too many ‘evangelists’ do it wrong and drive people of other faiths (or not faith) away. However, I recently decided to commit to sharing my faith in more than deeds. Still deciding how best to go about it, but I feel if more rational, open-minded, proactive, tolerant, feminist members of the church spoke up, the fanatics wouldn’t misrepresent us… Perhaps by sharing the Word in the way I have experienced it, I may be standing the gap for another, helping someone answer questions I too had to answer at some time. After all, it may be better for someone to be recognized as a Christian through their deeds.But there’s no harm in hearing them say it either… P.SI hope you know I’m a Christian, or rather working on it ????As my Angelou said: “It’s an ongoing process. You know, you keep trying. And blowing it and trying and blowing it …”
End of Year Reflection
The end of year is always a time of reflection, as we wonder whether we met those New year resolutions, as we grade ourselves for becoming better or worse, closer to our dreams or not, as we look back in gratitude for seeing the end of a year which many others did not. Whether be are believers in a divine entity of not, it’s a spiritual time. Whether you are a believer or not, you have probably wished someone a Merry Christmas, even if only to respond and avoid being churlish. This spirituality, the warped nature of our world religions and yet the necessity of faith are the musings on my mind at this time. My experiences this past year led me to question and analyze my faith as much (if not more) than I did when I first began believing for me and not as a result of socialization. And though I still consider myself a Christian I must admit many times this year I’ve bordered on Agnostic. Why? What made me doubt my faith? Many things, none of them new, just increasingly alarming. The increase of “men of God” who warp the word of God to suit their motives and are in the business of selling miracles rather than building faith, the ‘believers’ so easily misled because they pick and choose what part of the bible they read, the increasingly popular admonition that we are not supposed to question our faith- just believe, the increasing hypocrisy and judging among faith groups which encourage (even demand) that you condemn another for basically sinning differently from you, and of course the increasing prejudice against other faiths like Islam and lack of tolerance with people who believe differently. Then of course there have been the unexplainable, why a young child would have to suffer so much pain in their short life, why the population of one country is being massacred brutally with no just cause and of course, why Grace would cover me but not another who in their innocence obviously deserved it more. Like I said, the reasons to doubt faith systems aren’t new, there have always been. But for each of these reasons to doubt, I’ve found two more reasons to believe. For every charlatan there’s been one true evangelist (and they are rarely leading a church), for a prejudiced acquaintance spreading messages of condemnation on social media, I have been blessed with friends who know their faith isn’t threatened by another person’s believing differently, for every unexplainable act of evil, there has been an unexplainable act of good. For me that’s enough to keep believing. But for others I know they (with good reason, probably) just can’t believe that easily. They call it faith for a reason. It surpasses logic, BUT- and this is the point of this post- it doesn’t or in my opinion shouldn’t, defy logic. God gave us brains, I don’t think he gave it to us for décor. We ought to use them. These brains question, these brains think things through. How ever they think according to what we feed them, so read, whatever your faith book is, read it but not only with your brain, read with your heart and soul. But not just your faith books of choice please, read everything, every genre you possibly can. Read as widely as possible to learn from humans as much as to learn from God. Aren’t we supposedly made in his image? Why do we discount each other’s divinity then? No religion truly promotes evil, each religion is tainted with cultural norms and the author’s personal bias. After a year of examining all I believe in. I would pick faith and humanity over any systematic religion. I have seen little difference between the the two major world religions and more difference between the denominations and groups within these religions. At the end of it all I must agree with the line in the movie “My Name is Khan”: There are two kinds of people in this world irrespective of what or who they believe in- good people and bad people. So I thought I would end a year fraught with religious intolerance, by spreading a simple message. Forget the religion and find your faith; with it I hope you see reason to believe again despite all. I would also like to take this time to thank those friends who while making practicing their own faith and making it clear why they are believers, also made it clear they are not fools, they are tolerant and (perhaps most importantly) that they are struggling- because believing is a walk not an accomplishment. We’re all trying, none of us perfect. So “thank you” Malaka Grant, Marriam Lally, John Gwan, Lucky Omaar, Elizabeth Elango-Bintliff, Derrick Focho, Ngum Ngafor and many more. Thank you for demystifying religion by practicing faith and in so doing encouraging me to believe in mine.