It’s another October and my birthday has come to pass. I recall when I was turning 30, I wrote a blog post about how I am no longer adding things on a “to-be list”, but rather things I want to undo… I didn’t have the concept of ‘unlearning’ in my vocabulary or my mind yet. […]
A conversation with Fungai Machirori
Last year I shared a great deal about my mental health struggles openly via my blog and this caught the interest of a ‘Digital Native’ and #Afrifem sister Fungai Machirori. She invited me on her podcast for a conversation on what it takes to engage publicly about struggling with mental health issues as an African […]
Musings on Motherhood, Or rather Opting out of it…
Have you ever considered that the reason one may want to have kids is unhealthy? This month’s musings are on my own coming to terms with unhealthy motivations for motherhood and why I take my current position on it. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. So drop a comment after watching […]
A Year of Self-Love?
One of my favourite quotes is by Zora Neale Hurston and it goes: There are years that ask questions and there are years that answer. I am praying that 2023 is one of the years that answers… A sister-friend has a small ministry she calls “Jesus Parties”. She, like many of us, grew up in […]
Belated Birthday Reflections…
I’m writing this in arrears. It took a while to get the words. I still don’t know if I have the right ones. And because I’m writing in arrears the feelings I’m trying to convey are blanched and decolourized, lacking the vivacity of the heaviness I felt in the month this post was to have […]
On Unlearning: A lesson from A Child
Two weeks ago I came across this short video of @BeleafinFatherhood’s daughter Anaya asking for love. In it you see a little black girl, with a mischievous smile on her face, sticking herself through what was obviously a closed door to make her request. She says: “I’m just standing here, waiting for you to get […]
Unlearning Episode 2: Unlearning Superwoman ideals, Suffering mentality and Normalizing luxury
This past Friday, my Ph.D. was officially conferred. I am officially Dr. Monique Kwachou. A holder of a doctor of philosophy in development studies with a specialization in feminist studies and education. I’m not at the apex of my career, but with this terminal degree I’m assumed to have achieved a great deal, assumed to […]
Unlearning Episode 1
I am jealous of the love black women, African women reserve for men. Their men, the men yet to be theirs, the men who we are not sure exist yet, or who exist but just don’t show up. The sort of love that has us ready and willing to edit ourselves to be what you […]