Hey folks!Happy Easter! I’m once again sharing my musings via a short video. Don’t worry, it won’t become a habit. I’ll find that writing spirit soon for the next Musings installment. But for now, enjoy this oral expression of my thoughts on what lessons we Christians should be taking away in times of COVID19. As always, I hope you drop a comment with your thoughts because I enjoy reading them!What lessons do you have for me?
Being Intentional in the Journey
Happy New Year folks! Towards the end of the year, I attended a vision board workshop at church with a good friend and Christian sister called Olivia Mukam Wandji. As a project management specialist, Olivia often uses project management language in her speech. As she led us through our vision board construction she compared our lives and the ambitions we have for it to the life cycle of a project. She said as we begin this new decade outlining our visions, we should consider that we are planning a project and note that there will be different phases; the planning phase, implementation phase, another for monitoring and evaluation, before the project end. Each phase requires ‘planning’ and guidance. This morning, I am thinking of her remark in another light. What about the cycle of our Christian lives? We rarely ever plan our Christian development the way we do our self-development, why don’t we care about the growth of our faith the way we do our professional growth? I understand that would be hard to do because faith isn’t something we should regard as mechanical, achievable in steps and such… after all, our Christian development is dependent on God’s grace, mercy and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Yet, I also think that our lack of planning in this part of our life is evidence of our lack of intentionality in our development as Christian. I recall reading some piece that admonished us to ‘respect God’s time’. The idea of respecting God’s time was odd to me, he is master/owner of time. It’s all his anyway. What time I commit to give him is my own out of the [surprisingly] inadequate hours I have to be productive. Yet the writer made a sound point that convicted me. Our lives run on scheduling and that speaks of intentionality. We have appointments entered in our calendar for months ahead, we have birthday notifications to remind us to wish those we love well, we respect meeting time and interview appointments and dates by being on time and ensuring we have nothing going on concurrently. We are very intentional with respecting time with fellow humans, our career and social commitments. But when it comes to God? Not so much. Going to church is an option, not something we’ll be fined for if we miss- as is the case with missing some classes. So what if we do prayer and meditation at 5am today, 11am tomorrow and 3pm the next? At least we did it, there is no prescribed time to worship. Thinking this way is not altogether wrong, of course, God cares more about your heart and motivations than if you have a perfunctory routine of bible study at 6am every day. Yet, thinking this way also shows that we regularly take God for granted. In the absence of intentionality, we often short-change God. Give him less, because we didn’t intentionally set out to give him more. When we aren’t intentional about what time we do that meditation and prayer, or that bible study, etc. We end up giving God what’s left of our energy, attention and time after we’ve done everything else. Or worse, we forget altogether as we postpone it saying “I’ll do it later”. Now imagine if we were more intentional not only ‘respecting God’s time’ but with our Christian journey as a whole. Imagine if we looked at our lives the way we look at our careers and said ‘I want to grow to this level of Faith’ the way we say ‘I want to reach this managerial level’. Imagine if we set out to develop habits that would develop us as Christians? This could be taking a course in scripture exegesis, training for youth ministry, or learning to be more forgiving? Imagine if we had Christian growth goals and targets as we do career goals and weight loss targets! I’ve imagined it and I can already see that if I did that I would be a lot stronger as a Christian. Vision boards, five-year plans and all forms of goal setting are renowned for helping the individual stay focused. Having a target written down, broken into achievable steps and such makes it easier to achieve a big seemingly overambitious goal. Whether that goal is ‘becoming CEO of a multinational company’ or ‘becoming a better disciple of Christ’. Please note that being intentional does not mean we set out to ‘earn our salvation’ nor does it insinuate that our Christian growth is solely up to us. The primary fact of our faith is that our salvation is freely given by Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for our transgression. Likewise, we literally cannot be better Christians without God himself enabling us to do so via the Holy Spirit. So why be intentional? The battle is not ours but the Lords, right? How does our being intentional or not matter in the grand scheme of things? The answer simply: being intentional is proof of our own commitment to God. You may not have to earn salvation, but if you have given your life to Christ and received salvation by his sacrifice, you are now a ‘slave’ to him. As a slave, you are to serve your master. Being intentional ensures you are an efficient servant. Similarly, though we cannot be better Christians without God himself enabling us to do so, we must first submit ourselves to God for the Holy Spirit to work in us. The act of submission is on us, and THAT part must be intentional. Submission doesn’t come easy, you choose it EVERY DAY. A quote by Rick Warren captures this perfectly. He says: “as humans, we are to be a living sacrifice to God. The problem with a sacrifice that is still alive is that it can crawl off the altar”. How often have you submitted yourself or even just a problem to God in prayer at night, only to wake up in the morning and
Wishing You a Decade of Dependency and Thriving Despite Deficiency
As a teenager, I wasn’t really ‘taught’ how to cook. I moved around a lot. And in every home, I would have tasks like dicing onions and tomatoes, fixing the vegetables, grinding spices up, etc. But no one allowed me near the pot and no one allowed me to do everything from scratch. I knew how to cook in theory-everything that needed to be in that meal, but I hadn’t ever done it for myself. It was only when I had dropped out of school in lower-sixth (think age 17) and was staying with my older male cousin at his studio that I was actually ‘in charge’ of cooking (he must have thought, oh now there is a woman in the house). I recall that every time I cooked, no matter how familiar I was with the ‘process’ of the meal I was making, I would begin with a prayer. An honest to God prayer as in : “Dear Lord, please don’t let me mess up this food. Please help me remember how Christy used to make it and let it come out just as well. Please don’t let Elvis laugh at my cooking” Every. Single. Time. If only my cousin knew how much I wanted to impress him then- and not poison both of us, of course. I would pray like that for over two years- 2007 to 2010; just picture it, me praying for guidance for something as simple as mixing pancakes or stewing cabbage. Something that ‘insignificant’, would have me with eyes closed fervently praying and I would BELIEVE God was hearing and would help. Because he God wouldn’t allow me to be shamed before those who I was cooking for nah? Is he not God again? Especially when I was in my first year at the university and imbibing all those self-help books that had us believing we needed to impress guys with our cooking… let me not even go there. The point is, by mid-2010 I was living on my own, had to cook just for me. I was experimenting and learning a lot more but also, the pressure to impress someone else was off. So I stopped praying before cooking. I had mastered a lot of the basic meals, so no need to ask for guidance so the food comes out well. And just like that, I stopped depending on God for that. I believe(d) I was a pro. Cooking isn’t the only thing I have grown out of depending on God for. I used to pray before every time I write- and I’m talking fiction, a blog post, an email, etc. I never felt like I deserved to be in the places I had been accepted into. How could I be at Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s workshop when I only just discovered her that year? When I only just managed to buy her book THAT trip because quite frankly I had no access to it before. How could I be in Uganda with so many amazing women writers when all I have a horrible collection of poems published? So of course, I would pray before every single thing I wrote, praying that God makes it better than it is because I know it is crap. Occasionally, I still pray before I write, but now it’s more “Lord, you know I procrastinated and now this deadline is here, help me make it”. The prayer is no longer about really depending to make the thing happen. I am ‘grown’ now and jaded. I think “Monique just sit up and work, what you need is discipline!” And I am right. But I am believing I can (and should) be the discipline master of myself, all day every day. I am also believing I need only discipline. And on these two things, I am wrong. As many cooks will tell you, you can follow the recipe exactly, do everything as you should have and still come out with a mess. As we say in Pidgin-English, life get as e be. Why am I sharing this? Well, two reasons. First, because it’s the end of the year and we’re all taking stock on how far we’ve come (or not) and how far we have yet to go. It occurred to me that as we grow up, mature, and life hurts and disillusions us, we become jaded. We may grow in faith, yes, but it no longer the faith that is hopeful. It is a surrendered faith. Our faith now is either more calculating with us marrying our adult logic to it and thinking along the lines of: “if I fast for this number of days, torture myself in this way, make a vow to God or give this amount of money to church then he will answer my prayers” OR the other which I think of as surrendered/resigned faith which says “Che sara sara, whatever will be, will be”. We lose that innocent faith, that faith that believes God listened to your childish prayer request to have the meal come out just right. We lose that child-like dependency that has us needing God for everything; and like five-year-olds who have finally learned how to use the bathroom on their own, we begin to shut daddy out. Until they may need a new roll of tissue and open the door a crack screaming, so we too call when it’s a mess ‘please give me this or that’. We’re not so independent after all. And we hate it! Or at least I hate it, and that is the second reason I am sharing this. One of the major lessons 2019 taught me is I cannot be all the things. I cannot meet my ideals (and I wasn’t even striving for perfection o!), I cannot save myself, I will be forced to depend. Because I have been built flawed and meant to depend because I am human and expected to fail. With this lesson, I gave myself permission to make mistakes, gave
Is There a Need for Reconciling my Faith and Feminism on the Issue of Virginity?
Recently, the internet was buzzing with news, opinions, and jokes on African-American rapper T.I’s declaration that he regularly takes his daughter for a virginity test. As I followed the conversation, I noted that a lot of those who claimed they “could not get why the father was receiving backlash” supported T.I using Christianity and moral dictates. I found that interesting and weigh in with this month’s #AboutMyFaith installment in yet another video. Here you go: The Christian faith is notoriously silent on issues of sex and sexuality. As if not speaking about it makes it go away. In fact, the church often follows Ostrich-like methods in dealing with a lot of sticky issues; from abuse to racism. For this reason, I’m glad some Christians are using alternative platforms to speaking up about what is not discussed in church frankly. I recently enjoyed a discussion by Melissa and Kevin Fredericks via their Love Hour podcast on a similar sticky topic (pun intended). Do check them out and as always, please let me know your thoughts!
#AboutMyFaith October 2019: A Vlog-post
Not every time writing… sometimes we vlog, eh? As always, I look forward to your thoughts, so drop a comment! Feel free to drag me as you wish, I’m struggling with my presenting skills
Let’s talk ‘Spiritual Fathers/Mothers’
Shortly after my last retreat, I had a conversation with one of my friend’s older sister. Since hearing me talk about mental health struggles she- like many others- seems to have the idea that I am what the bible describes as a ‘baby in faith’. On my part, I don’t deny this. I’ll happily be a baby in faith to everyone including God. Too many people trying to claim spiritual adulthood without considering that true growth requires tons of pain. Whether I am a baby-in-faith or adolescent or whatever stage of the journey I am on however is something I know only God can determine. What she was doing is patronizing judging. But then, most of us are guilty of that. God knows I’ve done my share. So I recognized it and accepted it with a shrug. With that background, you can understand that when I told her I had taken a retreat and felt the experience really grew me, she still had her misgivings. She asked me “who led you through the retreat, I told her that an older Christian friend of mine ‘held my hand’ through it. She said “Yes, but what man of God?’ and I could sense the judgment so I made it clear that I had received some counseling from my pastor. Then she said: “I really think you would do better with a spiritual father”. Right then, I felt myself go tense, as the one who sought and experienced the retreat, I was wondering what made this other person deem it not good enough and in need of improvement for ‘better’. But when that initial annoyance at the dismissal of my experience not being good enough, passed. I was able to query her on the notion of Spiritual fathers. Why do you think I need a spiritual father? She responded that I could use with someone stronger in faith to shepherd me. That choice of words and my experience with acquaintances who often speak of their ‘spiritual parents’ left me disturbed. So I’m making this post as a call for public opinion. I may overthink wording as a writer/lover of words. But I think we call all agree that the words one uses matter… When you say someone is your father, you put them in a position of authority with responsibility. The church encourages the practice of godparents who are to assist parents in raising the children and in some cultures step in when parents pass away. But this is different from the idea behind spiritual fathers/mothers as used today. From talking with this friend and others I have gleaned that one’s spiritual father is deemed their intercessor, the one who helps them become better Christians, the one to whom they confess, who corrects them, who counsels them in making life-changing decisions, who helps them interpret the bible and much more. I once asked a friend who spoke of such what theologians and pastors are for then? Her response? Pastors cannot possibly develop sufficient familiarity with all their church members so spiritual fathers are necessary. That may be the strongest argument I’ve heard for ‘spiritual parents’. It is very true, that as our churches grow in size the connection/fellowship is often watered down and it is hard for pastors to actually shepherd. Yet given my experience; the things expected of spiritual fathers/mothers, the role-play in the relationships and most importantly, the basis for selection of hints of idolatry. I know we often think of idolatry as worshiping some statue, but one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the course of my Christian journey is that idolatry is sneaky and rarely ever that straight forward. It is often as simple as extreme reverence, placing a human on a pedestal they shouldn’t be on, valuing something- anything- more than we value God. It’s a more common sin that we think. Idolatry is often performed in the church itself; we often put our religious leaders on pedestals forgetting that they too are human. Because ‘the man of God’ said it, it must be true. We don’t try to get to know God for ourselves, content with what the pastor shares on Sunday. This shouldn’t be the case. The idolizing of church leaders is often accepted (even expected) based on their authority as trained theologians, and recognized leaders of the congregation. With regards to ‘spiritual fathers/mothers’ however, the basis for idolizing is even less substantial because most spiritual fathers/mothers have not really trained in theology, nor even as counselors. They also do not have institutions that can call them to order or reign in their influence. And what is most disturbing, their accreditation is often human judgment. They are spiritual mothers/fathers because they are perceived to be more ‘spiritual’ than the ‘children’, closer to God, more able to interpret the word, more ‘professional’ Christians. No one should be thought of as ‘spiritually higher’ to the point of being our intercessor- that is Christ’s job as our High Priest. No one should be charged with being an interpreter of the word on our behalf, we have been given the Holy Spirit to enable that for us. Mind you, I do not mean to deny that some people are more spiritually mature than others based on their length of time in the Christian journey, experiences, spiritual gifts and regular study of the world. Yet, as Christians, we ALL have equal access to God. We are all his children. And as, Priscilla Shirer is noted for saying, God doesn’t have grandchildren. We can and should go to those we see as more spiritually mature for mentoring. But we need to also keep in mind that we are not God, and how we measure spiritual maturity may not be how he measures Christianity. A new ‘baby’ Christian can teach a great deal as well. So let’s talk: what is your take on this? What is a spiritual father/mother to you? What role do they play in your life?
A Lesson From A Recent Retreat
Today marks exactly two months to my 30th Birthday. I always do a sort of retreat towards my birthday, either the week leading up to or the month or- like last year, retake the 40 day reading/meditation of Rick Warren’s A Purpose Driven Life. This time I want to go into the new decade with joy and not following a period of petitioning God. Don’t get me wrong, those retreats always end with renewed hope which is why they’re needed and valued. But as things stand now, I wanted to get the petitioning part out of the way two months before so all I’ll be doing towards that time is thanksgiving and celebrating. Well, I don’t consider myself a ‘master’ at retreats and I struggle with making room for God and shutting distractions out as much as everyone else- if not more. But, I feel like I can share something from my experience(s) with such efforts which is why I’m writing this. How to know you need a retreat. Usually, we have something push us to our knees prior to making a move to fast or shut ourselves off seeking God. Sadly, it takes that much to get us to run towards God but it is a fact that without the illness, the frustration, the painful limp we’d likely think we’re doing just fine and never make an intentional effort to seek him. When things are going well we say a cursory prayer of thanks, but when things are not going well? We get into bible exegesis and battle mode. It is in that point where we question, seek and so find. I doubt Job would have ever had those deep conversations with his friends about God without his life being ruined. Still, perhaps you’re one of the really good Christians, one of those mature enough to seek God without having to be pushed against the wall with a crisis first, then likely you may just sense that you’ve not been able to meditate with depth. You may feel the Spirit move you to do a deeper study of scripture. Or commit to praying for a certain thing/people etc. Whether it’s a push factor or a pull factor, taking a retreat is something I find to be essential in this Christian journey. For me it’s typically the push factor, to be honest. But something I learned with this last retreat made me realize something which I think will influence future retreats as spurred by the pull factor. A lesson from the latest experience… So I took this retreat as a period of battle. I went in desperate, angry, seeking answers- in fact, demanding them. They say we should PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens- right? So that is what I would do, pray, cry, rant and self-torture all in a way to ‘twist God’s arm’. Fortunately, this time I didn’t take the retreat on my own. That made a considerable difference. I had a Christian friend guide me through, someone I could trust to be completely transparent with, who I cared enough and who could most importantly relate and so help in the right way. The fact that I had someone to be accountable to, to send meditation report to daily. Someone to debate the scripture with me, to recommend verses for meditation and to question the self-torture I was doing, the interpretations I was making… all this ensured I was doing a lot more real seeking than I had in a great while. It wasn’t just a retreat and self-denial to say “God abeg act”. It was also a searching, and trying to please God for real and not just what I think He would impress Him. It was interesting, going beyond just reading and verses and using them to back up my praying to actually studying them. Writing them out, what they mean or turning them into an exploratory exercise… this made the word come to life like never before for me. For instance. On the day we focused on thanksgiving, Phebe (the friend who guided me through) suggested Psalm 124 for meditation. As an exercise, I wrote my own interpretation of this Psalm which asks “What if the Lord had not been for us?” Several pages resulted from this as I wrote all the things that could have happened but didn’t for reasons that could only be attributed to God. By the end of the exercise, you are sure of one thing: Things may be bad, but it could have been a great deal worse if God had not orchestrated some things for reasons only he knows. Perhaps writing exercises don this time made it matter more to me since writing is my way of reflection. Perhaps something else would work for you. Yet, one thing I came away with which I want to share because I feel this is would apply to everyone is- sometimes the prayers aren’t to get you the thing you demand – or not immediately. Rather as you go seeking him, the closer you go the more you begin to question the basis of that demand, in the retreat the Spirit develops in you a desire for God which surpasses the desire for what you came to ask for. In that way, you’ve been thought to surrender. Your need has been addressed by making it null and void in the face of your need for Him. Some may read it as resignation, but it’s not. The need is still there. The desire is still there. But in seeking him you’ve been given a new perspective that dwarfs all else. As a friend says “people believe prayer changes things. But that’s not true. Prayer changes us and we change things. That is the power in the retreat. We go in with our focus on one thing and in the course of it, our focus is redirected to what God wants us to focus on. It’s a lesson I hope I remember so the
The Lies We Christians Let Slip…
I regularly find myself faced with a situation where I have to defend my faith based on the gullibility of some ‘Christians’ like these ones in Kenya who seemingly believed their pastor brought Jesus back to earth just for their church service… This is when unbelievers call us out like… Is this your faith? Are these your ’Men of God’? And I find myself shaking my head speechless because those antics actually deserve all the scorn they receive. Still, it is easier to recognize and call out the apparently unscrupulous acts of such imposters pandering miracles to the gullible and vulnerable than it is to recognize the fallacies adopted into our own everyday words and actions as Christians. For instance, several people believe the practice of circumcision is widely accepted as right because it is ‘Christian’ despite the fact, the bible clearly shows this is a Jewish tradition which new Gentile believers were told they did not need because of their salvation no longer depended on such rituals. Then there are some popular ‘Christian’ idioms which are completed unfounded. How often did you hear/say the phrase “salvation is personal”? We thought we were being profound with it and often used it to disavow needing to concern yourself with someone else, after all, “we should all carry our own crosses, right? Well, no. Even Christ had someone to help him with the cross to Calvary and we’re called upon to take care of each other. It’s not a competition for salvation we are all to help each other in the body of Christ. Finally, one of the most popular idioms yet ‘the Lord helps those who help themselves’. Admittedly one of my favorites, because after all, it makes sense right? Even the gospels say to those who have more will be given ???? Yet this often is often twisted to justify human attempts to earn/deserve what God gives for free. Such that Christians are told/or feel they need to do more to win what God gives by grace. In so many ways we cannot help ourselves and it is God that must meet us where we are to save us. I love how the following quote captures how this idiom misconstrues the gospel’s message: What lies/customs/idioms have you found out are false or misrepresentations of the gospel as you go along your Christian journey? Drop a comment and educate me, please!
Let’s be real: Being a Christian Is Hard.
Our churches are beginning to sound like the marketing interns who have been commanded to get a certain number of customers each day. Nearly every message preached speaks of Abraham’s blessings, of everlasting life, of healing, of forgiveness…. of the “Good News”. I know, I know, that is the gospel, right? It IS the Good News. And we are to preach it. But can we be real as well? Can we tell the truth, the honest-to-God-truth about actually being Christian? Being a Christian is HARD! Yes, we believe we are saved, have a heavenly father who loves us, chose us, listens to and protects us. BUT, all of these do not change the fact that actually living like a Christian is called to is extremely difficult ( Note it is impossible without the help of the Spirit but still difficult with it). Have you ever had an experience that had you looking at the sky or crying on your knees and saying “Damn, Lord you ask entirely too much”? I have. At least twice this year. Let’s put aside the popular pitfalls of fornication, lust, adultery, drunkenness and more which usually get the spotlight when people think of what makes being Christian tough. To me, those sins just get popularity because of our culture. There is a multitude of regular ways we fail at being Christian because the bar is so high- the bar is literally heavenly and divine. Being a Christian is turning the other cheek when slapped. It’s praying for the person you want to cuss out. It’s forgiving people who are not sorry. It is deciding to give of whatever little you have to the spread of the gospel which is often misunderstood and abused. Being African and Christian, being a woman and Christian is having to study and question because of how the message comes to these groups to justify wrongs. Being a Christian is resigning to the fact that your life is not yours, it’s Gods and that may mean what you want to do, will not be- rather he works our hearts to match the desires he has for us. Being a Christian is being the peacemaker when you’re most likely drained from being hit from two sides. Being a Christian is a perpetual state of self-questioning, a constant battle for self-control to not do what is ‘normal/expected’ of a human with hormones, selfish desires, and ambitions they were socialized to have. It’s believing in the unseen and imaginary- consider how hard that is in a generation where we have the motto ‘pics of it didn’t happen’. Being a Christian is doing what is right even when there are no credits to be earned because quite frankly, there ARE NO CREDITS TO BE EARNED. Being a Christian is using the long route even though you know that those who don’t go through that stress will still get to the same place. But you are following what you believe you ought to. To be truly a Christian is welcome the outcasts, love the unlovable, to resign to not understanding because A LOT does not make sense by our human logic. To be truly a Christian is to study the word for yourself and every day realize just how far removed you are from Christ-likeness. It is knowing you cannot judge because you sin differently even if society tells you ‘your own sin is better’. Trying to follow Christ is basically killing your ‘Self’ slowly. I recall a tale of Gandhi being asked about his opinion of Christianity after being given a bible to read. He responded “”I like your Christ, but not your Christianity… I read the Bible faithfully and see little in Christendom that those who profess faith pretend to see”. On this, Gandhi was undoubtedly right. To find anyone who truly emulates Christ is near mission impossible. Fortunately, we don’t need to be perfect Christians. Nor are we expected to achieve whole Christlikeness. We’re simply called upon to practice his ways and depend on his Spirit to enable us. Simple, but still extremely HARD! If you’re struggling with me, here’s me wishing you strength for the journey!
Look Back A Little More
Motivational messages often say we shouldn’t look back on the journey. That we should forget the past and look forward in hope. They generally assume that thinking of past pains is a negative exercise. They’re not altogether wrong, but I have found that the message is not carved in stone and applicable to all situations. There is amazing strength to be found in looking back on the journey. When we face tough situations, we tend to become engrossed in them. This new problem takes over our thinking, this dilemma is unique, hard, not something we can address. We find that we are breaking, tired, done for– but that has been the case many other times in the past. We just can’t remember. We don’t look back often enough. I have a gratitude journal to practice recording thanks for things that happen through the day, it is a practice I took up to try and find joy in the midst of depression. As I packed out of my place recently, I looked back at the journals for 2016 and 2017. There was a day in 2016 where all I wrote is: Thankful for still breathing. I know it was a rough day if that’s all I could write. But I cannot remember what made it rough. That’s the irony of problems – when we’re in the middle of them, it’s all we can think of. Then when we get through it, we can barely recall it. But we should. We should mark the ways the heartbreak happened, the ways the rejection broke us, the ways we were betrayed, record the depth of the pain – and above, all, record how we grew in faith, how God got us through it. We should be able to look back on past troubles to say God got me through that one, He’ll get me through this too. I’m at crossroads in my life at the moment. For the first time in a long time, I do not know have a fixed plan- just a prayer. I’m struggling to believe that is enough. As I left home this trip unsure of how soon I am returning, it was looking back that helped renew my conviction. As I packed my stuff up, as I visited family, looked through old photos and generally took trips down memory lane, I cried and realized why the present hurt so much. But I also had renewed conviction- I literally found myself saying: “Damn, I’ve been through a lot. This isn’t so bad as that time when….” So here’s a recommendation, in addition to a gratitude journal, perhaps we should have a problem/obstacle journal. You need not write through it every day. But regularly list the things you are struggling within it as evidence of overcoming/ God’s CV of coming through in your life. That would definitely come in handy when you come to the roadblocks on your Christian journey. So here’s your call to look back: Remember the time you got an opportunity by ‘chance’ when you thought there was no way out. Remember the night you went to bed hungry, remember the rejection that you became grateful for 5 years later, remember the disagreement that kept you restless and in pain… remember that day you should have died- be amazed at how many near misses have been just that- misses. Remember the bad times, and perhaps you’ll find (as I did) that this present problem pales in comparison. So this too shall pass, this too is part of His plan. Look back and be hopeful. Because if God has gotten you through half as much as he has gotten me through then He has plans we cannot fathom. All we have to do is muster enough trust in him to not fret as he unfolds his plans. Look back and have hope.